


Bird Burglars

by jkateel



Series: Fugitives Together [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Devious Parrots, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-27
Updated: 2014-02-27
Packaged: 2018-01-13 23:43:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1244719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jkateel/pseuds/jkateel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gold sovereign hadn’t been on the table for no more than two minutes when the parrot landed on their table with an audible thunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bird Burglars

**Author's Note:**

> Flutiebear gave me the prompt "m!Hawke/Anders, 'the parrot that got away'"--and it was so much fun to write.

The gold sovereign hadn’t been on the table for no more than two minutes when the parrot landed on their table with an audible thunk.

“Don’t look,” Hawke breathed into his ear when Anders felt his gaze sliding over toward the bird. He obediently looked away, feeling his face warm when he felt Hawke’s lips brushing his ear. The feeling was almost enough to distract him from Hawke’s warning. “I’ve heard they’re as smart as Mabari. She’ll know you’re watching.”

There seemed to be something to that. Anders couldn’t really see much but a mass of red in his peripheral vision, but he could tell the parrot was carefully watching him. She seemed to always know when someone was watching her too, for she had always paused in whatever she was doing to run her beak along her vivid red feathers, or fluff them out in a full-body shake. That was why he and Hawke had set the sovereign out as bait, hoping to catch her in the act (and to prove that Anders wasn’t hallucinating).

“Relax,” Hawke prompted again. Anders tried not to shiver when the other mage laid a hand against his back. “She can probably tell you’re tense too.”

 _Who knew parrots were so perceptive_ , Anders thought, but he took Hawke’s advice. And if letting himself relax meant he sank a little into Hawke’s side, it was no matter. It wasn’t like anyone was watching them — everyone was caught up in the festivities, singing along with the group of pirates that had taken over the Hanged Man. They were all halfway through another sea chantey, mugs clinking together adding to the beat to the song.

The parrot had been with the pirates when they had first came in, perched atop a shoulder of a woman with an eye patch. Anders had never seen a parrot before that hadn’t been in a book, and he had instantly been drawn to the vivid red feathers, and the rainbow of yellows, blues and greens. She was easily the brightest thing in the room short of Varric’s chest hair — and that made it more remarkable that no one had noticed what the parrot was doing as she waddled around the Hanged Man.

Anders himself might not have even noticed if he hadn’t been so fascinated by her to begin with. He hadn’t been too distracted to notice the small pouch the parrot had tied to her back however, and that was when his curiosity was piqued. _That’s unusual_ _,_ he had thought at the time. When he had pointed it out to Hawke, the other mage had been amused and joked,  “Maybe she keeps rum in it.”

It hadn’t taken them long to realize that the parrot kept something in her pouch, and it was certainly not rum.

Anders felt his senses stir, his gaze drawn over before he could think about it. He nearly jumped out of his seat when he realized the parrot was right in front of him.

The parrot seemed to freeze, her head cocked at him. Her foot was on the sovereign, but she didn’t go for it; instead, Anders watched in fascination as her black pupil shrank and grew rapidly over and over. But nothing prepared him for the bird lifting her head, and then garbling out, “Hello!”

“Maker’s breath, she talks,” Hawke said, sounding dumbfounded.

“She steals people’s jewelry, and she talks,” Anders agreed in awe.

The parrot bobbed her head, as if acknowledging she was a master thief. It had taken Anders a while to realize what the parrot was doing when she moved from shoulder to shoulder, each patron unaware of their new feathery visitor. It hadn’t been until a woman Anders knew well for the giant pearls she always wore was no longer wearing them, and a giant red bird was slinking away from her, that he had realized what was happening. Luring her over with one of Hawke’s sovereigns had only been to prove he had been seeing what he was seeing. She had taken the bait, and this close up, Anders could see her little pouch was stuffed to the brim with a set of pearls, golden earrings and what looked like a small diamond.

Anders and Hawke shared an amazed look — only for a moment. But by the time they looked back, the sovereign was gone. Her little pouch was even fatter now, the parrot’s head still tilted toward them like she hadn’t move. Anders couldn’t help his gape. Who knew parrots were so fast.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Hawke muttered, and the parrot turned her eye toward him. “You really are stealing things.”

The parrot’s pupil shrank again and then she let out a cackling sound.

It was too much: Hawke snorted, and Anders had to cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing. Then they were both laughing, the parrot bobbing her head as if amused too, before she waddled away to the edge of the table, using one big wing flap to land on the next victim’s shoulder.

“Should we say something?” Anders wondered out loud when he finally managed to calm down.

Hawke, still giggling, shook his head. “I don’t think anyone would believe us,” he said, and Anders had to agree. “Besides,” Hawke said with a sudden smirk, leaning against Anders’ side, his hand on his back sliding down in a way that made Anders shiver. “I’m too comfortable to move now.”

On a day when he had met a talking, thieving parrot, Anders felt it was okay to indulge in a little flirting. “I do need to be comforted,” he said playfully, leaning against Hawke’s side again. “You see, I was just robbed by a parrot.”

Hawke burst into laughter again and Anders grinned.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The parrot is a scarlet macaw, and if you've never met macaws, they are sneaky little fuckers haha.


End file.
